AliThinks

Word Nerd, Part 2

Thanks for all the comments on my last post, Word Nerd. I thought it might be fun* if we all posted our grammar and spelling pet peeves.

Margaret (who kindly corrected my grammar in her comment to my Word Nerd post) wishes people would differentiate between less and fewer. I'm on board with that. If you can count whatever thing you're referring to, you need to use fewer. If it's something you can't count, use less.

And because I'm a teacher at heart, I'll give an example: If we had fewer cats, I'd have less litter to scoop. (I know, ew. Bear with me.)

Karan wrote "My daughter's resume explained that she had experience stalking shelves. I told her that stalking was against the law.

This makes me laugh, because I recently read that someone was totally against internet stocking.

Joolie made a couple of comments: Boy, you really tow the line! (ducks), and my favorite, poring over vs. pouring over. I'm sure you know you should toe the line, especially if you're poring over party documents.

If you have any grammar or spelling peeves, other than the ubiquitous your/you're, its/it's, their/there/they're, or any apostrophe catastrophes, please leave a comment.

*Okay, so maybe it will only be fun for me. I accept that.

Word Nerd

The other day I posted this as my status message on Facebook:

Your PSA for today: Hearty ≠ hardy. A meal is hearty. A plant is hardy.

You can bet that I had a motive for posting that. Someone somewhere on the internet WAS WRONG! posted about hearty plants.

While I was reading a novel yesterday, I came across the phrase "...to staunch the flow of blood." Granted, this was a galley, or advance reader's copy, which I'd gotten at work. Galleys are generally uncorrected proofs. But still, it made me want to do another PSA (sorry, public service announcement) on my Facebook status saying that staunch ≠ stanch.

Yeah. I'm that person. I'm the one who cringes when you say you're chomping at the bit. 

And yet, as I get older, I'm more reluctant to correct people's grammar, spelling, or vocabulary online*. Mostly, I don't want to be an asshole. 

These types of errors do raise my blood pressure a bit, I'll admit. This afternoon I read a blog comment in which the poster stated that the post he was commenting on was "ludacris." I had to wipe my keyboard before my tears shorted it out. 

OK, so I'm exaggerating, but just a little. Words have meaning, and they have spelling. And that's why hearty does not equal hardy, and champing does not equal chomping, and Ludacris is a rap singer who might be ludicrous to you and me. (Yes, you and me, not you and I.)

*If someone wants me to proofread their his or her (thanks, Margaret!) writing, I will point out errors without a second thought.

Silliness

Our Bacon
Who art in heaven
Smoked be thy Name
Thine order come
Thine will be well-done
On earth as it is
In Memphis
Give us this day our daily slab
And lead us not into vegetarianism
But deliver us more bacon
For swine is the skillet, the flavor, and the pork belly
Forever and ever
HAM-en.

A few of us made this up a while back, and I just found it on my hard drive.

While I Ruminate About My Next Post

...let me share a link to the Apostrophe Catastrophes blog. Go on. Click it.

Humor Me, Please

In the past I have ranted about people and their poor grammar. It used to get me incensed.

Friends, I have mellowed. Seeing it's as a possessive now just makes me give a half-hearted eyeroll. What about your for you're and here for hear and there for they're? I barely blink an eye; I chalk it up to the need for speed and a general carelessness. (Not that that makes it okay, of course.)

I will admit that misspelled ad copy sometimes shocks me. I'm tempted to write a letter to the Geek Squad about this one. 

No, what burns me now is self-proclaimed "writers" who don't know the basics of grammar. Here's an example I've written, because I'm not in the mood to point fingers at specific individuals:

Mom gave the gift to my sister and I.

Um, no. Go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go; do not collect $200.

My sentence is an example of overcorrection. Our moms nagged us to say "and I," not "and me," so we use it all the time. Well, sometimes "and me" is the right thing! Take out my sister and and you have Mom gave the gift to I. Nobody says that, because it's wrong. This applies to sentences with other personal pronouns, of course. She or her, he or him, we or us, they or them.

I think the other grammar gripe-slash-lesson will have to wait for another blog entry. I need more coffee. Can you guess what else bothers me about "writers"? What annoys you?

F.R.A.N.C.E.

One of the first things I learned at the Alliance Française was that the French are notorious for their use of acronyms.  This seemed strange to me, because I had always thought that the French were all about the beauty of their language. 

Not that they aren't, but acronyms pepper their speech and writing.  One of the most famous newscasters here is known by his initials, PPDA.  There are so many other examples I could give to make my point, but I'm really tired and don't much feel like spending half an hour explaining.  I will say that every teacher in the country knows what the B.O. is, and I'm not talking about their scent after a hard day of teaching, either. 

So today I went to the post office (I mean the P.O.) to give them a letter I'd received.  No one by that name lives here, and I said as much to the worker behind the glass. 

She took the letter (ironically enough from La Poste itself, from their financial services branch), scribbled on the bar code at the bottom of the envelope, and said in a self-satisfied manner, "Ça, c'est un NPAI."  It took a lot for me not to laugh out loud.  NPAI (say it with me, En Pa Ay Ee) means "N'habite pas à l'adresse indiquée."

Oh hell, I might be too tired to explain why the lady at the post office made me laugh with her official NPAI label.  It was just funny, that's all. 

Now let's see how funny you can be.  I dare you to come up with a phrase for the "acronym" in the title of this post.  I'll go first, but it might suck: Furry Rodents Are Not Carrying Ebola.

Your turn now.

Don't Annoy The Person Who Provides The Enchiladas

Being the great language geek that I am, after editing (and tracking changes in Word) my brother's thesis, I started browsing the fat orange book's website. 

I found myself getting really into the Q & A section.  In fact, this exchange made me laugh out loud:

Q. The menu in our cafeteria shows that enchiladas are available “Tues.–Fri.” However, when I ordered one on a Wednesday, I was informed that enchiladas are available on Tuesday AND Friday, not Tuesday THROUGH Friday. When I informed the cafeteria manager that this was incorrect, she seemed shocked and refused to change the sign. Please help determine who is correct!

A. Although the sign was incorrect, I’m not sure you should annoy the person who provides the enchiladas.

Indeed.

The Fantasy Schmuck

So I live in Europe, right?  And Europe = different countries = different languages.  Therefore most packaging in France has more than one language on it. 

At the very least, there is French and Flemish/Dutch.  Sometimes there's French, English, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, German, and Greek on a package. 

Today I went shopping after I got done teaching, and entered the realm of toys at Leclerc.