AliThinks

Nobody Believes Me!

That adds up to 300 napkins, two light bulbs, and a cushion that looks exactly like Luci.

It's A Miracle

We went to IKEA this afternoon and spent less than $30.00.

I KNOW.

Alive and Well

...and the proud owners of a new coffee table!

Remember the IKEA table that we were going to have delivered? Until we realized that delivery costs were more than the cost of the table?

Well, guess what? Our hotel in Philadelphia was about a mile from IKEA. (I swear to God I didn't plan it that way). And because we are crazy, we went shopping at IKEA on Sunday afternoon.

Unfortunately, everyone else in the tri-state area had the same idea. The place was packed. When we saw "our table," we checked the tag to find out which aisle to pick it up in.

"Temporarily Oversold."

Oh, fuh! We had lunch (along with everyone else in the tri-state area), then continued browsing in the hamster maze. After we had chosen some little trinkets, we made our way to the checkout -- but you have to go through the large-item pickup aisles in order to get there.

Aisle 10, coffee tables. Just in case. The second time we looked up and down the row, we saw it. Our table. And there was one left. Not THAT oversold!

Then we waited for an HOUR in line (you guessed it: along with everyone else in the tri-state area). We were so hell-bent on getting the damn table that we didn't walk out in disgust.

Now we are home; the table has been put together and my feet are on it! Allan took a picture of it; I'll link to it later. Time for another beer, then bed.

UPDATE! Allan has posted photos of the new table.

My Life Is Now Complete

IKEA is coming to Cincinnati.

Thanks to Elle for the tip. Now we just need those rumors about Trader Joe's coming to Lexington to be true. The Fresh Market is coming for sure, and it'll be just right up the road.

PS: The first day of school went pretty well. :)

In Which I Try To Be Coherent

This morning I realized that my kids will be here in less than two weeks. Woo-hoo! And oh, shit! My things are strewn about the two bedrooms upstairs. My kids will inhabit those rooms this summer.

So I put some of my stuff "away" (I shoved things into a closet). I still need to clean up some other things. And Allan and I have some furniture to rearrange.

Oh, for fuck's sake. This started out lighthearted, and I lost my élan. I meant to tell you a tale of buying duvets and looking for cool duvet covers. The tale included calling upon my sister to purchase duvet covers for us from IKEA, since she lives about 10 minutes from the damn place. The tale also included the jubilant feelings I experienced when I realized that IKEA will ship things other than furniture! Things like duvet covers! Yay! And there's that coffee table (yes, coffee table) we noticed back in April. IKEA ships it!
Woo-hoo! Two duvet covers + one coffee table from IKEA, $298.98! Gawd, I heart IKEA. So. Much.

[Insert low, sardonic chuckle here]

IKEA merchandise, $298.98. Shipping, $300.88.

Ladies and gentlemen, three hundred dollars and eighty-eight hundredths for shipping.

I sent my sister an e-mail, detailing which duvet covers I wanted. IKEA's shipping for those alone was $20, and I calculated online that it would cost her less than half that amount to mail the things. We'll get the coffee table when we're in Pittsburgh in July.

So this post was meant to be humorous and snarky, and somewhere my balloon deflated. Nay, it got popped. At least you know the story though. I apologize for the piss-poor delivery. The sad thing is that it has nothing to do with the events described above.

God Bless Allen Wrench

You came into my life
In a time of strife

Because of the lure
Of Swedish furniture

Oh the joy you bring
When you do your thing

Your octagonal head
Puts together my bed

(With apologies to any real poets out there). 

Boosting The Morale Of This Gator

Yesterday my friend Anne called me up, invited herself down here, and said "We'll go to IKEA." 

I love Anne. 

We headed down to Bordeaux quite late in the afternoon.  It was after five.  But IKEA doesn't close until 8 p.m. so we had enough time.  It's only 95 kilometers away.

Except that the Pont d'Aquitaine, THE bridge you have to go over to get to IKEA, was closed.  Let me make a comparison to a city I know:  It's like the Fort Pitt Bridge in Pittsburgh being closed (which of course, it recently was).  Be sure to click on those links just there.  There are some great photos.   

Yikes.  Three hungry kids in the back seat didn't help.  We had to drive toward Spain (tapas, anyone?), then circle back around the other side of Bordeaux.  We got to IKEA about 45 minutes after we'd planned to, and had just about an hour to shop. 

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know how much I love IKEA.  I was thinking about this today, trying to think of a reason why I love IKEA.  I mean, it's just a store.   I came up with one reason:

Cool stuff at affordable prices. 

See, you can't get nice things for cheap in France.  You just can't.  If you're a student, chances are you have a fold-out couch like this or this, and isn't that just the ugliest shite you've ever seen?  If you're not a student, you're most likely not earning much money anyway, because we all know that it's impossible to make money in "Capitalism Is Evil" France.  But I digress.  Point is, you're probably not going to be able to afford this, this, or this. 

So you salivate over all things IKEA, especially since there isn't one right near where you live.  (And no, I didn't choose this town just because it's closer to IKEA.  It's just a cute little town with a medieval prison in it). 

Anyway, I had enough time to buy a few necessities.  My bum is now parked in this chair.   I got one of these, so that my living room wouldn't be so dark.   I also got a few other sundry items.   I need more to make this place my home, and not all of it will come from IKEA. 

Going there yesterday was exactly what I needed, though.   

Thanks, Anne. 

Just Another Reason...

...why IKEA is so fükting cool.