AliThinks: We Have A Winnah!

Two winners, actually.

Tiffany suggested that "Your Halloween costume is to be 1/2 man, 1/2 woman, and lefty is hangin' with the Y chromosome."

I like the way you think, Tiffany! You're also the closest to the truth.

AndreAnna wrote " You need your left hand because it is trained in some secret martial art in which you can choke/maim/mutilate a man twice your size and nails get in the way."

And that made me laugh.

So they both win a prize. I've sent them an e-mail about it, and should they accept what I have to give, I'll let all y'all know what it is.

The real story about the fingernails is after the jump.

My cousin got married this past Sunday. The wedding was late in the afternoon, and Allan and I decided we needed some sustenance before the wedding. Our hotel was in Crystal City, Virginia, right near a whole slew of restaurants. In fact, we ate tapas here on Friday night, brunch here on Saturday morning, and dinner here Saturday night.

We wanted to try a Greek place we'd seen, but it was closed on Sunday, so we decided to try a place that looked kind of fun. Funky umbrellas on the patio, champagne brunch...and a huge rainbow flag flying above the door.

The place was packed, but if we wanted to sit at the bar, there was no waiting. So we did. We ordered cokes and wrap sandwiches, and settled in. A sign on the wall told us that there would be a drag show that night at nine. We decided that we had to go, if we got back from the wedding reception in time.

Fast forward to that evening. The reception was over at ten. A shuttle took us back to our hotel, and we dropped off our cameras (I wish I hadn't) and hoofed it to the drag show with my sister-in-law, two of my cousins, and the one cousin's husband.

And we made it in time for the last number of the show. The only table available was right in front of the stage. The drag queens went nuts over Allan and R. Especially R., who was still in his wedding duds.

But they each got a lap dance. (I'm starting to crack up here. I REALLY wish I'd taken my camera.)

During that last performance, one of the drag queens started tossing her fake nails onto our table (where another woman was collecting tips for her. It was a big table). And after the performance (and a couple of beers), I grabbed the nails, sorted them by size, and stuck them on my hand. And yes, I am a lefty, so it was natural for me to put them on my right hand.

I wore the nails until after we got back to Lexington the next night. At breakfast Monday morning, I flashed them at my sister-in-law and cousin, who burst out laughing.

So there's the story. I wore the fingernails of a drag queen. It actually made me want to get my own set of press-ons.

And as a bonus, here's a photo of me at the bar, taken by my cousin.