A Pre-Internet Pregnancy*

Before the existence of parenting websites and mommyblogs, we had to cope with our pregnancies the hard way. Motherless and in a foreign country, I read What to Expect When You're Expecting and wrote in my journal during my first pregnancy. I was the first of my family or friends to have a child, and boy, was I clueless. It all worked out, of course. I had a healthy baby girl three months before I turned 25.

For my second pregnancy, not only was I more experienced, but I was also fluent enough in French to feel comfortable reading parenting magazines. My favorite was famili, and I bought it every month. One of the rubrics I enjoyed was "La Future Maman du Mois," which profiled a different woman every month.

I started thinking about all this recently because at least three of my "Lost In Francelation" bloggers are pregnant. Riana, Aimee, and Deb are all expecting their first child. These future mamans have an advantage I didn't: a built-in support system via the internet. I think it's wonderful that they are able to tap into the rich source that is the interwebosphere, and that they are blogging about their pregnancies. Oh! If I'd only had a blog when I was expecting. (Sample entry from my journal: March 31, 1995. I can't believe I'm going to have a baby! Here I am with my huge belly, two weeks from my due date, and I just can't fathom the fact that a real live baby is going to come out of me. I know it's in there, heck, I can feel it moving! But it's a little person and it will grow up to be a big person and I made it! With some help from J, of course.)

But I digress. So I've been thinking about these three American bloggers in France and how lucky they are. And I got to thinking about how I dealt with being pregnant, eons ago. I thought of famili magazine, and how I sent my photo and a description in to the magazine. I thought of the phone call I received from Anne Wieme-Dufour, inviting me to be a Future Maman du Mois. I thought of that November Wednesday that I spent in Paris, being dorlotée by famili. I thought of that March day in 1998, when (with my baby son in his sling) I bought famili and opened it to this page:

Larger version here.

As [insert your own adjective here] as this is, I'm still pretty proud of it. Articles like this are proof that we need to share our experiences. The Internet makes it so much easier now. And that's a good thing.

*No, we didn't really have the Internet in France back then. I was able to get connected via the university where I taught, but in 1998 the average Joe didn't have internet at home. We finally got dial-up in 2000, and DSL in 2002. FYI.

Comments

[Margaret]

Tres belle!

[misschrisc]

Oh look at you. How cute surrounded by all those green & yellow peppers!

They are lucky. I wasn't aware of any expat blogging community when I was pregnant. I did have the internet and I communicated with American women on pregnancy web boards where I felt like a complete ALIEN from another planet. When I said I'd spent four days in the hospital after the birth they all said "OMG what was WRONG!! Are you okay?!!"

[samantha]

Wow, I think that is extremely cool. Thanks for sharing!

[Denise]

Aw, I LOVE that! I'm so glad you did share it!

[mags]

You look lovely, Ali. How wonderful to have that to look back on. When my brother was born in 1974, "Parade" magazine profiled my mother and his birth, and I love to look back at the copies they kept, and the pictures of my parents from that day.

[rebecca]

what a lovely picture!!

i never usually watch Oprah, but I was channel surfing yesterday and there was a woman on who said she can interpret infant (up to 3 months at least) language and what the baby needs depending on its cry. it was fascinating....

[ally bean]

Such a beautiful photo of you.

I think that you make a good point about how we can share ourselves so much more easily on the internet. Most people I know IRL seem to focus on the how we can get more info and the how we can buy things aspect of the internet, but I enjoy the sharing and connection part the most.

[meredith]

Great photo of you. I too, was a Famili magazine fan, and had a photo (tiny) of my oldest daughter published in their Mars 2002 issue on page 30. A precursor to my blogging...

[meredith]

I'm back to say that AHHHHH, I am sure that I read this article thinking how cool that there was another american pregnant mom out there. I started reading this magazine in September 1997...

[Elisabeth]

This whole thing is beyond cool. Internet connections are great - I never got into sharing experiences or interests with others on the internet until ca. 1997 (I joined a list-serve focused on a particular issue.)

I liked reading the beginning of the article on you, and I would agree that working until the day you deliver a baby and returning to work six weeks later is quite brutal.

[Heather]

That is so cute! I'm trying to read the article, but I guess I need new glasses!

[cmhl]

Look at you!!!! beautiful picture!!!

[Chris]

As I said on Flickr, great! Love the shot! You're famous!

[Thomas]

I heared from my finfolk that I wuz featured on that COPS show. I guess I'm now famous for something else asides from having all four front teeth on the top AND bottom!

[Aimee]

Oh wow! There you are! Thanks for sharing... I honestly must say that having the internet has been wonderful for me. Being so far away from my family and the loss of my mother it has helped me get through some rough times. I haven't picked up Famili but I think I will when I return to Paris at the end of the month.

[riana]

That is so fantastic!!!!!!!! WOW look at you, you are famous in France! I love it!!!!

You are so right, it is great to have so many resources at my fingertips and blogger friends to share every kick with and every question and give support.

I have read so much online and read books at night and can pretty much understand the French ones too. I am so blessed to be so informed. I think about my mom living in the middle of nowhere with NO clue what so ever what was going on and think about the hard times that she had just trying to raise my sister and I as well. Happy days for the internet!

PS; I have those overalls, I think that they might be yours. I bought them at Emmaus when I found out that I was pregnant. Wouldnt THAT be strange, if they were YOURS!

[Deb]

I agree with you completely. We are extremely fortunate to be able to have so much information on the internet. Not only that, but the expat community continues to grow. It's comforting to be able to chat with others in the same situation.

I love that pic of you in that article! You look positively glowing! =o)

[Gracianne]

Avant l'internet et deja celebre? Jolie photo.

[Amber]

OMG! What an amazing photo! And to think... You're famouse and MY friend!!

[JavaCurls]

Ali, that is so awesome that you were in a French maman magazine!! You look so incredibly cutee in that photo!!

[sedulia]

I got asked to be in the German parents' magazine when I was pregnant but they wanted nude photos!