Tapped Energy, Sapped Energy

Yesterday something happened that upset me. We're talking bone-deep, soul-crushing strife. No, I'm not going to go into it here. Let me just say that I was in quite a state, and today I had to take care of a few things. (Forgive the vagueness. This is a personal blog, but there are lines I won't cross).

Today I felt better, mostly, until it was time to handle the aforementioned things. Actually, it was one THING, but trying to accomplish that led to other THINGS. Basically, I had to handle a number of hassles.

In the end, it wasn't such a big deal. On any other day, I would have taken care of it without any trouble. But yesterday's crisis sapped me of pretty much all energy. This thing I had to do? It was HARD! And I was FRUSTRATED! Allan made the correlation between yesterday's "event" and today's "ordeal." The two were linked, and because yesterday was so hard, today's task was a tough one.

Are you following me?

I decided to write about this, because I realized that I hadn't taken any photos in a couple of days, and I thought My muthafuckin' energy got sapped, and there's not a GOT damn thing I can do about it! I was so tired this afternoon.

Sweet Allan noted that I had found the energy to blog, and I said "Yes, but I haven't taken any photos!" (I guess that's my personal barême of creativity -- but you'll notice there have not been any lengthy blog entries in the past two days, either -- and if anyone can remind me how to say barême in English, I'll be grateful).

Dead right, I found the energy. Okay, that was a lame attempt at linking two different words to convey another meaning. I'm listening to the Grateful Dead right now. Almost ablaze still you dont feel the heat. It takes all you got just to stay on the beat.

So I got my mojo back. I cooked dinner. I cracked jokes. I blogged. I still haven't taken any photos, but the day is not yet done.

What's my point? I probably don't have one. I used to get accused of that a lot. I am trying to say that the stress I recently felt really manifested itself, and I just had to let it happen.

Yes, I am feeling better. Yes, I'm still a little antsy. But I'll be okay. It'll be okay.

Comments

[Seuss]

I hope you continue to feel better until the antsiness goes away altogether!

[bhd]

Wow. Someone who is even harder on herself than I am.

Love you kiddo. You know my numbah.

[Margaret]

I always get so curious about what others go through that are "crises." For me, anything can turn into one, but I blow them off pretty fast. As for bareme, what I would say for it would be barometer--but that may be slang, and used in a figurative sense. (not for weather)

[Karan]

I'm so confused. I think I'll go to bed.

[meredith]

I hope everything is going okay, now.

I'd say barometer, too.

[samantha]

Hope you wake up this morning feeling better!

PS. I'd say "meter".

[Anne]

I'll put my two cents on the translation "limit" for "barême".

Ah, as for the dragged-down-worn-out feeling, I'll also put my (same) two cents on the fact that our bodies have such great built-in defense mechanisms and fatigue pops fast when we are faced with having to do something we really, really don't want to do. Once you get started or through it, the energy goes back up again (unless it's some on going emotional batter with a third party?)

--ah, I use the collective "we" here because I react the same way. When I'm faced with doing something I really hate to do but I HAVE TO do it and getting pressure from outside sources to do this crappy thing, that's when I have to go and have a lie-down for ah, half the day.

Look, now it's done, you can recharge. As for your photos, you don't HAVE TO put one up each time. Don't put unduly pressure on yourself. Everyone's still reading even without graphic, digital aid! :-)

[ally bean]

"It takes all you got just to stay on the beat."

Ain't it the truth? And I find it particularly difficult to stay on the beat when I have to make my own beat most days.

Feeling better today?

[cassie-b]

I hope things are looking up now.

I have always found August to be emotionally draining. But that's my own problem.

So now I'm waiting for a newly taken photo to be posted.

Cas
Hang in there

[Elisabeth]

For barême, I would say "meter."

Sorry to read about the crisis, and glad that you are recovering from this slump. I sometimes feel like I am hitting a wall and, then, I am unable to get anything meaningful accomplished.

[winter]

Whatever it is, I hope it gets better.

[ptooey]

I'm very puzzled. But I'm glad you're feeling better.

[Thomas]

It sounds like you faced the dragon, slayed the dragon and now are exhausted from the ordeal.

Pardon my bluntness and lack of knowledge of the details of the strife, but what else could happen.

You obviously handled it well with the love of a good man at your side and the strength of your friends cyber and otherwise. It sounds just like life and it's many trials and tribulations. Occasionally life's events hit back when you're conquering them. Those scars, emotional and otherwise, are badges of honor showing you prevailed.

[saundrah]

This sounds very familiar my fellow Cancerian... very familiar. xo I feel lucky that I have a someone in my life that lets me be irrationally emotional at times and not run for their lives or try and fix it...

[ms. sizzle]

glad you will be ok.

[cmhl]

Yes, with some time and distance, most everything is ok in the long run.. I"m glad you are feeling better..

[Heather]

I've gotten in the lurking habit, but I thought I'd get out of it. Glad you're okay. I agree with someone else - while I definitely love your photos, I'm still reading! Bon courage!

[Carrie]

I'm so sorry about whatever happened. I'm hoping today is better {hug}! :)

As for photos, I agree with others, I come to read. Pictures are a bonus ;) Try not to be so hard on yourself (ha ha...ain't that funny coming from moi! lol) Seriously though, be good to you!!

[Daisy]

I'm sorry it was bad but very happy that you got through it :-)

[lily/rebecca]

been feeling sapped and tapped myself lately.

hope you're better now. seems (reads) like it. :)

[Denise]

You know I'm always here for you if you need anything at all.