AliThinks

La Petite Souris* Va Passer Ce Soir

*That'd be the French version of the Tooth Fairy.

The Cost Of War

Check It Out.

You Know This World Is Killing Me

Nah.  Just kidding.  Actually, everything is pretty much copesetic right now, so I thought I'd note down some things that have made me either roll my eyes, laugh, or both. 

• This is a medieval town, right?  And there are some really old books in the library.  And the library lady is this major smoker who tries to hide the fact that she smokes.  Never mind the law (voted in 1992) banning smoking from public places.  I'm thinking of the damage her smoke does to the historic (and I'm talking OLD) books on display not far from where she sits. 
• Today instead of giving detention, I gave extra homework.  10 students (who wouldn't shut the fuck up during class) got some short texts to recopy, and two exercises to do.  Some of them said they wouldn't do it.  Well, undone assignments are now grounds for dismissal from class, and if a kid gets kicked out of class, his parents have to come and pick him or her up right then and there. 
  I can't wait to see what happens tomorrow.
• My nose-picking daughter is sitting in the corner of this room, reading.  And farting.  And asking "Did you hear THAT one?"   
• I hate grocery shopping, and I especially hate it when I see people from work there. 
• I guess I don't have anything more to say.  I'll let you know how tasty dinner was. 

We're All Brothers

One thing I've learned as a parent is that the size of the tip of your index finger is proportionate to the size of your nostril. 

I realized this when my daughter stuck her finger up her nose one day.  She was a toddler, and I thought "Wow!  A perfect fit!"  And stuck my own index finger in a nostril, just to check my budding theory. 

I Stole This From Someone Else

You said your birthday is 7 / 6 / 1970
which means you are 34 years old and about:

53 years 8 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 88
50 years 2 months younger than Pope John Paul II, age 84
46 years 1 month younger than George Herbert Bush, age 80
38 years 9 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 73
36 years 8 months younger than Larry King, age 71
30 years 5 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 64
27 years 0 months younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 61
24 years 0 months younger than George W. Bush, age 58
19 years 0 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 53
14 years 8 months younger than Bill Gates, age 49
9 years 10 months younger than Cal Ripken Jr., age 44
4 years 0 months younger than Mike Tyson, age 38
0 years 1 month older than Jennifer Lopez, age 34
5 years 6 months older than Tiger Woods, age 29
11 years 11 months older than Prince William, age 22

and that you were:

31 years old at the time of the 9-11 attack on America
29 years old on the first day of Y2K
27 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
24 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
23 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
22 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
20 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
19 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
15 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
13 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
12 years old during Sally Ride's travel in space
10 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr. (and John Lennon!)
9 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
5 years old on the U.S.'s bicentennial Fourth of July (but I was about to turn 6!)
4 years old when President Nixon left office
a 1 year old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot

Lifted from Allan who got it from Nook who got it from Boy the Bear's Age Gauge. 

Take A Leek At This

This is the first time I've ever seen leeks with wavy insides. 

I'm Totally Supposed To Be In Bed...

...but I just want to say that Dooce (I'm not even going to give her a link; you're smart enough to figure out how to get to her blog) makes me laugh.  And I wish that what I write could be as funny.  I love to make people laugh. 

However, I'm not here to complain.  I'm just sayin', is all.  Dooce is funny. 

But I speak French, and damn well, too.  Guess you can't have everything. 

Oh wait.  I speak French, and the French are funny, therefore I am funny.  Non? 

Nobody's Fault But My Own

My fault that depression pulled the rug out from under me.
My fault that I was absent for more than two months.
My fault that there was no sub for 3 weeks.
My fault he didn't do jack with the students.
My fault they've got all these bad behaviors in the classroom (because they are only shitty with me).
My fault that they're behind in the curriculum.


It's all my fault, of course. 

If I had a different personality, I could have ripped some of those parents a new asshole.  Perhaps it's just that I'm sensitive about the way I do my job (because deep down I feel like a sham), but tonight I felt like I got it from all sides.  And as in class, was powerless to go up against them.  So I conceded.  "Yes, yes.   I understand.  Serious students like your daughter/son suffer because of the others." 

Okay.  It's time to play hardball with these kids.  That is the only thing left to do.  And I wish I could invite their parents to do my job for a week.  Not just a day.  A week. 

Cat Blog Friday

Yep, it's that time again.  Have a great day, folks. I'm in for a marathon.  Teaching from 9 to 4 (well, with a two-hour lunch break, okay), then parent-teacher meetings from 4 to at least 8 tonight.  I guess this is why I get paid. so. much. 

I'm Actually Kind Of Flattered

Your Famous Blogger Twin is Wil Wheaton

You're a friendly, funny guy (or girl) next door With more than a touch of geekiness

Who's Your Famous Blogger Twin?

Simone

This afternoon I dropped the kids at the library and headed off to run some errands before going to a doctor's appointment.  I went to the P.O., then walked down to the place I rent DVDs from.  It's this mom-and-pop appliance store, and they have a small selection of DVDs.  It costs 3.85€, just 5 cents more than the bigger Cinébank chain (which is farther away, too). 

It was really cold today, and quite windy.  An old woman was looking out her window, and since her house is right on the street, I passed within inches of her.  She had a house coat and a scarf around her neck, and she gave me a bright "Bonjour, Madame!" at the same time I greeted her. 

Just A Thank You

I haven't mentioned this yet, but I've been meaning to.  Over the past two months, one of my dear Constant Readers nominated me for Best New Blog in two contests:  The BoB Awards and the 5th Annual Bloggies (no link because of exceeded bandwidth on that site). 

I didn't make the cut for nominations in either contest, and that is okay.  It's enough to know that someone thought my little blog (in a sea of blogs, hey) was worthy of such a title. 

So thank you, dear friend, and thank YOU, Constant Reader, for stopping by and giving AliThinks a gander. 

This Ain't Meandering, This Is Full-On Charging...

...through my brain, of course.  The title of this blog is AliThinks, the subtitle, or subheader, or whatever the fuck it's called, is "Stuff that meanders through my brain." 

Meander.

Musicology (or, Allan Made Me Do It)

Random 10:

1) Conjure One -- Sleep
2) The Who -- Boris The Spider
3) Morcheeba -- Slow Down
4) Carole King -- I Feel The Earth Move
5) Porcupine Tree -- Lips of Ashes
6) The Ben Taylor Band -- Time Of The Season
7) Thievery Corporation -- Air Batucada
8) Sneaker Pimps -- 6 Underground
9) Damien Rice -- Volcano
10) Maria Muldaur -- Midnight At The Oasis

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?  On my computer, or formerly on my computer and now burned into safety on CDs?  247.  Or a thousand or so.  I'm not sure.  And I can't be assed to count. 

The last CD I bought was:  The soundtrack to Garden State. 

What is the last song you listened to before this message? One Step Closer -- U2.  In the car.

Write down five songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

1)  City of Blinding Lights -- U2
2)  Painkiller (Summer Rain) -- Turin Brakes
3)  Love, Reign O'er Me --  The Who
4)  Old Man -- Neil Young
5)  Moondance -- Van Morrison

Who are you going to pass this on to:  NewWaveGurly!  And BlueHeronDruid, because I force her to do every meme or quiz I do. 

Allan made me do it. 

Back In Action

Whew!  All afternoon I got an error message from Typepad, so was unable to post.  When I saw that there were new comments, I closed my Firefox tabs and reopened them, and Typepad was working.  Not sure why I kept getting that error message.  They were doing some maintenance over the weekend, but it's no longer the weekend. 

Anyway.  Today (and once again) I was convinced that I hate teaching.  How are you supposed to work with a group of kids who 1) have no basic grasp of their own language 2) tell you that English sucks and 3) are in the middle of adolescent (read: hormonal) turmoil? 

One For The Thumb

Okay, sportsfans, I'm the kind of person who never watches sports and only gets excited when the home team is winning.

I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (but I don't sound like it), and the Steelers Stillers are in the AFC championships! 

And that means a big ol' WOO-HOO from SmallTown, France! 

GO STILLERS!!

Simply Not The Best

My friend Dan sent me an e-mail with the text of the following article.  His note at the beginning of the mail was "Could any of this actually be true?" 

I interpreted that to mean "Please don't let this be true."   

It's funny, I'm not surprised by any of the information cited in the article.  It doesn't even stop me from wanting to eventually move back to the United States.  Read it for yourselves:

N°1? by Michael Ventura.

Achtung! Dangerous!

I took photos while driving to Cognac this afternoon.  The sun decided to hide as soon as I parked the car.  Figures. 

Girly Shit

I'm pretty low maintenance.  You won't catch me spending hours on my make-up or hair.  I don't even own a hair dryer.  But I do like some girly stuff, so I thought I'd post about it here. 

(If you're not interested in my latent girliness, stop reading now).

Procrastinating? Me?

Never!

I never procrastinate.  Nope.  Uh-uh.  I prioritize.  Tweaking my blogroll over there (newly powered by Blogrolling) is definitely more important than correcting quizzes. 

So is painting that table I got last November. 

And since I have a cold, taking a nap is necessary, if I want to be able to correct those quizzes with a clear head.  Yeah, that's it.