AliThinks

Self-Portrait In Pixels

à la Allan (Except I don't have a Nikon D70). 

Happy New Year!

Ringing In The New

Here's a sign I saw at a seedy-looking nightclub.  My dad and I had stopped for gas, and I noticed the sign for this place behind the gas station:

New Years Eve
Party Time DJ Dancing
Karaoke
Priviate Funeral Luncheons

It was one of those lighted signs that sits on the ground, you know, and on which you can change the message.  The sign was ringed with lightbulbs.

I sat there and cracked up, wondering if the "priviate" funeral luncheons were included in the New Year's festivities, as a bonus to the patrons who partied just a leetle too hard. 

Not Much To Say

Except that I am back at my dad's after a very fun (albeit too short) road trip. 

I didn't even take any photos while I was gone. 

Tomorrow and Friday promise to be busy days, and Saturday morning I fly to Toronto where I get to spend the entire day (because I obviously had no brain when I reserved my tickets) before flying to Paris. 

I expect to get home, children in tow, at around 6 p.m. French time on Sunday. 

(Oh, and I just found out that my kids had gastroenteritis this week.  I only feel the least bit guilty about not checking e-mail while I was away.  I do NOT feel guilty about not being there for sick children.  They're in pretty good hands, and fathers need to know about things like vomit and diarrhea). 

Ain't That America?

Twelve years ago today I flew from Pittsburgh to Paris to start a new life.  Now that particular chapter has ended, and a new one is beginning. 

Rather than get all deep on you, I thought I'd share some observations I made while driving yesterday (I'm at a friend's house; I had a 7-hour drive through parts of West Virginia and Ohio).  Perhaps these won't seem funny to you.  They made me laugh as a relative outsider.  I'm American, but I no longer live in the U.S., so certain things strike me in a different way, I guess.

Happy Boxing Day!

 

Okay, So What's Up With That?

For some reason Typepad changed the font on my last post, about how I'm Mighty Aphrodite, so you can't really read it. 

I'm too annoyed to tinker with it, and besides, the New York Times and Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Sunday editions are waiting for me downstairs. 

This Aphrodite digs crossword puzzles, and likes to do them in ink. 

And Now For Something Completely Different

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

Have A Ding-Dong Christmas!

That is what Wayne the Englishman said to me the last time I saw him.  It made me laugh.

This afternoon I'll be going to see my brother and his family, and from then on the weekend will be very busy, so I don't think I'll be blogging. 

In any case, 'tis the season to step away from your cyber family and toward your real family.  Venomous Kate wrote a good blog entry about that. 

Have a safe, happy, blessed Christmas.   

May it be a ding-dong one as well. 

I Just Have To Say...

...that I had a lot of fun today with my friend (and Constant Reader) Denise.  We became friends in our junior year of high school, so that's what?  19 years ago? 

I took a few pictures of us this afternoon. 

She looks gorgeous in all of them.  I look goofy.  Here is one, which I've cropped in order to protect her privacy.  But maybe you can see that we were having a good time.

My New Toy

is a flash card reader, so that I don't have to wait until I get back to France to upload and view the photos I take. 

Here are some I captured over the last few days.  My dad doesn't have Photoshop anything of that nature, so these are unretouched. 

I Could So Do Her Job

Last evening I was here alone, and I was flipping channels on the TV.  You may remember that I don't own a TV, so this is a rare activity for me, thank God. 

I ended up watching a couple episodes of Rachael Ray's 30-Minute Meals on the Food Network. 

As I followed the show, I kept saying to myself, "Blog that.  Oh, blog that, too."

So here are some observations about Rachael Ray:

• What's up with the obnoxious hand movements?  Hey Rachael!  You're not a flight attendant!
• It pays to increase your vocabulary.  Saying "We've got the chicken working over here"  "Let's let that arugula get working there"  and repeating "When dinner hits the table..." 5 times does NOT a cooking show make.
• Speaking of vocabulary, why bother saying "E-V-O-O" if you're going to clarify it as "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" for the idiots out there?
• I thought you weren't supposed to cut lettuce with a knife, Rach. 
• I could SO do your job. 

LeTitShow

This is what a little knicknack in my dad's kitchen says. 

I squinted at it.

"Let It Snow."

Oh, okay!  Whew. 

I won't tell you about the "It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine" magnet on his fridge, either.

Oops, I guess I just did.  My saucy stepsister gave it to him.

I'm jetlagged and hungry, but I just wanted to say a big Hey Ho from chilly, snowy southwestern Pennsylvania.  I made it.

Thanks for all the good wishes for a safe journey, Constant Readers.  Back later. 

The Fantasy Schmuck

So I live in Europe, right?  And Europe = different countries = different languages.  Therefore most packaging in France has more than one language on it. 

At the very least, there is French and Flemish/Dutch.  Sometimes there's French, English, Spanish, Portuguese, Italian, German, and Greek on a package. 

Today I went shopping after I got done teaching, and entered the realm of toys at Leclerc. 

Newsworthy

Since I left the place I used to live, I no longer have the morning paper delivered.  I have no TV.  I listen to streaming radio, but it is all music, all the time.  Except when presidents are elected.  The antenna on my car is broken, so I just listen to CDs while I drive. 

You Know The Adage

Time is money. 

I've just proven it: if I'd been alert (the world needs more of 'em, you know) and bought my train ticket a month or even a week ago, I'd have paid less for it. 

As it is, I just forked over 123€.  Oh well.  At least I have a ticket. 

Je Pète Un Durit

I'm going to vent in French, because although I am an English teacher, my day happened in French.  Maybe later I'll vent in English.  I don't know. 

Il y en a dans chaque classe.  Des branleurs.  Des sales mômes qui foutent le bordel et qui font tout pour emmerder tout le monde, surtout leur professeur d'anglais qui a eu le malheur d'être absente en début d'année. 

The New 'Do

By popular request.

This Is Just About My Favorite REM Song

Find The River

(berry/buck/mills/stipe)

Hey now, little speedyhead,
The read on the speedmeter says
You have to go to task in the city
Where people drown and people serve
Don’t be shy, your just deserve
Is only just light years to go

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
Ocean storm, bayberry moon
I have got to leave to find my way
Watch the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes
Nothing is going my way

The ocean is the river’s goal,
A need to leave the water knows
We’re closer now than light years to go

I have got to find the river,
Bergamot and vetiver
Run through my head and fall away
Leave the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes
Nothing is going my way

There’s no one left to take the lead,
But I tell you and you can see
We’re closer now than light years to go
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
Fall into the ocean

The river to the ocean goes,
A fortune for the undertow
None of this is going my way
There is nothing left to throw
Of ginger, lemon, indigo,
Coriander stem and rose of hay

Strength and courage overrides
The privileged and weary eyes
Of river poet search naivete
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
All of this is coming your way

The Fat Fair

Today in my town an event called "La Foire Au Gras" occurred.  It's not really a Fat Fair, but that is what it literally translates as.  It's a day-long open air market with local farmers and vintners displaying and selling their products.  There were also folks selling their crafts. 

Instead of writing about it, I'll let the photos speak. Avec ou sans commentaires. 

Saturday Night In Small Town, France

A couple of views from my kids' bedroom window: