Full-Length Mirror On The Wall, Who's The Coolest Of Them All?*

*Or, The Illustrated Story Of How I Put My Bed Together All By Myself.

Contrary to popular belief, my cheesy little poem last night did NOT mean I'd gotten my bed assembled. I'd only gotten the base together, which, to be honest, wasn't much.

It took me a total of 11 hours, 35 minutes, and 7 seconds to fully assemble the place where I will lay my head from now on.

Okay, so I'm exaggerating just a tad. I didn't time myself, but I would estimate that it took me between three and four hours to accomplish my task.

I did it all by myself with just an Allen wrench (courtesy of IKEA) and a Phillips screwdriver. No power tools except my brain. As always, click on the thumbnail to see a larger image.

One reason it took so long was the limited space that I had to manipulate the wrench:

Therefore my new bed got assembled one. eighth. of. a. turn. at. a. time.

Once I got the base together, I had to assemble a second part of the frame. After that, according to the most excellent illustrations in the assembly guide (see photo)...

...two people men were supposed to place the frame on the base.

Not to be all "I am woman, hear me roar," but I did it alone. Quite quickly, I might add. (And don't be throwing up because of my ugly wallpaper. I didn't put it there. I might change it).

Then came the part where there were no pre-drilled holes. The illustration made it look as if there were holes in the support bar that runs down the middle of the bed to hold the slats.

Uh-oh! I told myself to get over it and marked the spot where the screws were to go, made a dent in the pine (that's right, it's pine, NOT mahogany, so screwing a bit of metal into the wood should be a piece of cake), and got those screws in place.

I got the metal slat supports in place, no problem. Almost done!

Then when it came time for the last details before placing the slats, I noticed a major glitch.

I'd screwed the metal fasteners to the wrong side of the piece of wood that runs down the middle of the bed, and consequently could not place the wooden pegs into their proper slots. In other words, I fucked up, but it only took about 15 minutes (okay, 25) for me to undo everything and put it in its right place. And no, there were no pre-drilled holes on the correct side of the wood, in case you're wondering.

Here is the finished product:

I really dig my futon, and I got a good night's sleep on it, but I can't wait to try out my new bed. In some ways the last piece of the puzzle is in place: this is really my home now.

You ought to see the grin on my face as I finish up this blog entry. It leaves no doubt.

Comments

[Allan]

Pleasant dreams.

[BHD]

So glad those slats are placed, you slatty wrench.

[Alison]

BHD, you slatting slat. All I have to say is, when you come to visit, you can sleep on the slats, and I'll take the futon.

[bothenook]

looks good. so ikea has struck again, eh? i love putting those things together. i built a danish computer office suite from a collection of loose wood and a big bag of fasteners and other hardware. there is always at least one piece that doesn't actually have the holes shown in the drawing. fortunately, most of those "nomadic" furnature pieces are relatively easy to put together. that you did it by yourself, 1/8th of a turn at a time, should come as no surprise. you sure seem to be resourceful.

so, is it as comfy as it looks?

[Alison]

Oh yeah.

I loves me my new bed.