Q: Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings?
A: So that they have somewhere to put their legs.
This joke, which I first heard in French a couple of months ago, is NOT the reason that I don't wear my big hoop earrings anymore. I laughed one of those head-thrown-back laughs when I heard it, so no. It's not the joke.
It's all the teenaged girls walking around with these big honking hoops, so big that the earrings turn sideways in order to accommodate the shoulder.
OK. I might be exaggerating. But not by much.
What a way to introduce my 8th graders! A couple of them wear those huge hoops: my worst students, and troublemakers, to boot. Pauline reminds me of a cow with her big, stupid eyes and her stature. Chloé is more like a ferret, thin-lipped and sneaky. Marianne sometimes doesn't wear hoops, but she acts and dresses like the man candy that she is at the ripe age of 14.
Never mind what they do; they're part of the class dynamic. Today I noticed a few things while teaching, and I thought "Blog material," but now that I actually am in front of the computer I can't remember any of it, except the hoop earring part.
Oh yeah. I remember now. But this is 9th grade. This afternoon this kid (also a troublemaker) asked me what "W-E-E-D" meant. I replied that it meant "bad grass," as the French call weeds. I said it could also mean "grass" and another troublemaker said "As in gazon?" Gazon is lawn, but it's also slang for a woman's pubic hair.
It took a lot of willpower not to laugh. I looked at Alexis as sternly as I could, and said "No." Then they explained that the Dutch exchange students who'd been there this past week had asked them "You want some weed?" They looked at each other, ready to laugh.
I just said "Oh, that's nice" and continued my lesson. I should have said, "I'll be telling the principal." However, it takes all of my self-control to keep a straight face at times like that. The authoritative retorts don't come to my head until later. And it's not as if my telling the principal will change anything. You can't punish someone on hearsay, and she knows as well as I do that these kids smoke pot.
I do hope that I'll get better at retorting as time goes on, though.
In the meantime, it's going to take a lot of strength to get through these next 5 weeks of class. It's spring, the kids are rowdy, and they know a whole lot more than I did when I was their age.
I'll try to file away more anecdotes. I'm sure class time will be rife with potential stories.
Feeling: Pretty damn good.
Loving: The selection of CDs a friend sent me.
Hating: My seeming inability to control my students and my lack of authority over them. Must. Get. A better grip on things next year.
How to Annoy Me: Ask me if I have "some music" to listen to while I'm enjoying the soundtrack to Lost In Translation.
You have hit it on the nail. I am a student of 53 years old taking an English class in college. I am learning the written language of English and I am a born and bread American. I have a learning ability that requires me to learn something in a different manner than the "NORMAL" person.
Today in class we were learning about writing an essay with examples. There is a bigger word for this kind of writing which at this time in my mind I can't remember what it is called, but I do remember that because of my wisdom I have gained by using the computer as a tool, I have a better way to communicate with the world. I just love your use of words to describe your feelings. May I use your posting to prove a point in class.
Posted by: Debra Gardner | October 05, 2006 at 01:44